Picture this: It’s a work day, just like any other day. As soon as you wake up, swing your legs over the side of the bed, your stress begins. You start by standing up on a LEGO (ouch!!). How it got in your room, you’ve no idea.
Next your tooth brush falls on the floor, butter side down. The next 10 minutes are spent de-grossifying it. It doesn’t get better from there.
You’re out of milk; no breakfast. You’re out of gas in your car; have to take the bus. You get to work and your boss is in one of her moods. Now the rest of your shift is touch and go. Ride the bus home, have a mediocre dinner, go to bed late, and start it all over again.
After all that, your stress levels have reached Mach 5. And you feel horrible. You may think this example is a huge exaggeration, but many of us spend our days dealing with one little stress after another, just like in the example.
Now true or false: stress only affects your emotions? False. Stress can and will affect your entire body. It affects you physically, mentally, emotionally and behaviorally. It can cause all of these issues:
Insomnia
Fatigue
Obesity
Lowered sex drive
Reduced mental faculties
Muscle pain
Lowered immunity
Migraines
Hair loss
Depression
Acute anxiety
Digestive disorders
Strokes
Diabetes
And many other issues that vary in severity. Forty-five percent of adults suffer injurious health effects from stress, such as the ones mentioned above. Also, 75 to 90 percent of all doctor visits pertain to stress-related ailments. Is that persistent tension in your neck still bothering you? Are you still waking up irritable? A lot of stress might be the cause.
Now, whether the stress components in your life are big or small, real or imaginary, your body reacts the same way. From sun up to sun down, many people can attest to experiencing several stressors a day. Each stress reaction produces 1,400 biochemical events in your body, which is a negative chain reaction on the molecular level.
If you suffer from, let’s say, 50 medium-sized stressors every day, your body gets attacked by a battalion of 70,000 biochemical warriors that don’t quit.
Additionally, when you experience acute stress, the adrenal glands produce adrenaline and cortisol, the “stress hormone.” That hormone regulates the changes to the body brought on by stress:
Blood sugar levels
Fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism to maintain blood glucose
Anti-inflammatory actions
Blood pressure
Heart and blood vessel tone and contraction
Central nervous system activation
So when those biochemical warriors go into battle, your heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, pupils dilate, liver releases glucose and blood flows to your muscles increase.
Lastly, stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.
If stress can be reduced, either through meditation or another relaxation technique, you will be happier, healthier and hopefully stress-free. The first step to curing stress is to recognize that you have stress.
Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches us to break down our fears into their underlying beliefs. We are afraid of X because we think Y might happen. Often once we express our fears in these terms, we find that actually our fears are unfounded and very unlikely to come to fruition.
But there’s another way we can challenge our limiting beliefs and get some more perspective and that’s to ask the simple question ‘why does it matter?’.
Why Does it Matter?
A lot of us are anxious about certain things happening but actually, if we keep asking why it matters, we’ll reveal to ourselves that the worst case scenario actually isn’t that bad at all.
Of course this doesn’t work if you’re trying to overcome a fear of heights, or a fear of snakes (why does it matter? Because I might die!) but it works for all manner of other things.
Examples of Asking Why
Let’s take the common social anxiety that almost everyone experiences to some degree. Unless you were the number 1 jock or prom queen at school, chances are you’ve grown up with some element of trepidation speaking to other people. You maybe ask what they’re thinking about you and what will happen if they don’t like you. Ironically, this is then what often causes you to make mistakes or to sound unconfident.
But now ask yourself why it matters. Why does it matter what a stranger thinks? Are you going to see them again? If not then it hardly matters what impression you make on them! Are they a friend? If so, then they’re probably not friends with you because of how good you are at speaking in public! Is it someone you fancy? In that case, they’re probably just as nervous and hearing a bit of stuttering is only likely to be endearing to them. If not, then they possibly aren’t the person for you anyway!
You can do the same thing with any number of other anxieties. Stressed about being in debt? Ask yourself why it matters. Worst case scenario your home might be repossessed. Not ideal, sure, but as long as you have a job you’ll be able to live in rented accommodation. Don’t have a job? Most of us know a parent we can stay with. Don’t have that? The council will look after you.
Again, not ideal but it’s certainly something you could survive. Once again, that worst case scenario actually isn’t that bad and you shouldn’t let it cripple you!
If you’re trying to breathe and stay calm in more stressful situations and generally remain cooler under pressure, then you’ll often be approaching the idea of stress as something ‘bad’ that you need to ‘fix’ or address.
Actually though, this is the wrong way to think about stress and it’s even responsible for some of the issues associated with it. The perception is that stress makes us less confident, less able to make decisions and generally weaker.
But the reality couldn’t be further from that. In fact, stress actually makes us much stronger and also improves our performance in various other ways too.
How Stress Makes You Stronger
When you’re stressed, it triggers your body to release neurotransmitters and hormones which include adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. Together, these contribute to pain relief, an increased heart rate, dilation of the blood vessels, increased blood viscosity and tension in the muscles. Blood and oxygen are directed away from the digestive system and immune system and instead they’re directed to your muscles and brain. This makes you faster and stronger and therefore better able to escape danger or confront it head on.
What’s more is that it improves your focus and alertness and improves your ability to act quickly and respond to threats. If you’re in a fight then, or an athletic contest – stress can actually help you to perform better and achieve more.
How Stress Motivates Us
At the same time, stress has the positive effect of motivating us. An example of this might be when we’re studying, at which point it’s often stress that makes us revise more or double check our work. The same goes for interviews and any other scenario where the outcome relies on us putting in work. This type of positive motivating stress is called ‘eustress’ and people tend to be more successful if they experience this to a good degree.
The key then is not to completely eradicate stress but rather to control it. By being able to dictate when you become stressed and how much stress you experience, you can thereby improve your ability to stay while at the same time tapping into the heightened strength, speed and intelligence that comes from a stress response.
Next time you find yourself feeling stress, don’t try to fight it (which will only make you more stressed ironically) but instead lean into it and channel it!
If you’re looking to improve your ability to stay calm and collected under pressure, then there are numerous different techniques you can use. One of the most potent is to learn to control your breathing, which can immediately help you to feel calmer and avoid being pushed over into the stress response.
In this post, we’ll be looking at some breathing techniques you can employ to stay calm, as well as looking at some other techniques you can use.
Equal Breathing
Equal breathing is a technique from yoga, which essentially requires you to breathe in and out through your nose. While doing this, you maintain your breath for an equal amount of time on the in-wards and out-wards breaths. So you might breathe out for 4 seconds and then breathe in for four seconds.
This helps you to empty your lungs and fill them with fresh oxygen. What’s more, the slow and deep breathing will allow you to trigger your ‘rest and digest’ state which is similar but slightly different to the ‘fight or flight’ state and is controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system. This is a great way to stave off a anxiety response.
Breathing From the Stomach
Another breathing technique to try is simply to breathe from the stomach as we are naturally designed to do. If you try breathing right now and note whether your stomach or chest moves first, you may well find that you breathe by leading with your chest. This limits the amount of oxygen you can take in with each breath and that can increase stress.
Instead, breathe by first allowing your abdomen to expand. Use your transverse abdominis and expand your abdominal cavity. This will allow your diaphragm to drop into that space, opening up your lungs. You can then follow by expanding your chest and you’ll have more space in total to take in more oxygen.
Power Positions
Power positions are positions that have been shown by research to trigger the production of testosterone and other positive, stress-fighting hormones. One is the ‘victory pose’. If you simply stand with your arms above you in a ‘V’ shape, as though you had just won a competition, this will increase your production of testosterone, helping you to feel more confident and more driven. Of course it’s best to do this somewhere private before the event you’re nervous about!
If you’re looking for a way to stay calm in a tense situation, for a way to be focussed when all you want to do is relax or a way to control your anger – then CBT is something you should definitely consider.
CBT stands for ‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’ and is essentially a set of tools used for psychotherapeutic interventions when treating anxiety disorders and other psychological conditions. This also happens to be the preferred method of therapy among most health institutions today.
The best bit? As well as being highly effective and proven in countless studies, CBT is also very simple to teach and can even be explained ‘remotely’. Here we will take a look at what CBT entails, why it’s so powerful and why it’s very much worth learning.
How CBT Works
CBT is essentially the natural evolution from behaviorism. Behaviorism is a school of psychology that views all of our behaviors and beliefs as being learned responses that have been trained via conditioning. Behaviors that have been rewarded become reinforced and we perform them more often. Behaviors that have been punished become less common.
CBT takes this principle and adds an additional cognitive element – showing that we can actually reinforce a behaviour through the way we think. If we have anxious thoughts about an action for instance, then we can find ourselves actually enforcing that association to the point of even developing a phobia. We don’t actually have to experience anything bad – our belief and predictions alone are enough to create the association!
The same can also work in reverse though and if you logically break down your fears, explain to yourself why you shouldn’t be afraid of them then eventually you can completely remove those phobias.
An Example
So how might this work?
A good example is a social phobia, which can be created through the maladaptive belief that you’re going to embarrass yourself, that you’re going to faint or that perhaps you’re in some kind of danger. It is your job then to remove this association through CBT using techniques such as ‘thought challenge’. Thought challenging involves assessing just how realistic a fear is in a logical way and often you’ll be able to disprove your own fears to yourself.
You can then formulate these new thoughts as positive affirmations and actually talk yourself up before big events. Eventually, this can be enough to complete remove the phobia or anxiety – and it’s something that anyone can practice alone at home!
Fear serves a useful function. It keeps us safe by placing us in a high state of alert when we sense danger. But irrational or illogical fear can also limit our lives and keep us from rising to new challenges. In those with anxiety disorder, the normal nervous system response to a threat is easily aroused and difficult to subdue. Fear can cause physical and psychological symptoms that sabotage our goals.
Fortunately there are a few simple ways to challenge yourself and lean into fear.Recognize that fear is a universal emotion, one you are vulnerable to. In her book “The Gifts of Imperfection, researcher Dr. Brene Brown said that, “Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
The first step is to be honest and admit you are afraid. The second step is to choose to be brave. Realize that fear is mostly a learned response and it’s possible to recondition a fear response. Fear is controlled by the amygdala, a set of neurons located in the brain’s medial temporal lobe.
When the amygdala receives a danger warning, logical or not, stress hormones begin to flood the body. We learn to fear based on our experiences, but we can de-program fear by confronting the things we are most afraid of.Talk about fear to defuse it.
People who are afraid of public speaking, for example, attend Toastmasters International meetings where they share and confront their fears with like-minded individuals.Trick your mind by imagining a best case/worst case scenario. You dread asking for a raise and your mind races with awful possibilities.
One way to calm such fears is to imagine the best case/worst case scenarios. First imagine that all will go as well as it possibly could. You ask for a raise and the boss realizes you deserve twice your current salary. Great. Then imagine the worst possible scenario. He’s so insulted you asked that he fires you on the spot.
The reality will probably fall somewhere in between. And that’s generally the case.Remember the “10” rule. You can do most things for 10 minutes even if you fear that you will be able to finish the entire project. Tell yourself you can make it through 10 minutes, and then tell yourself that again until the job is done.
If fear overwhelms your life and prevents you from challenging yourself, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.
Fear and anxiety can be overpowering and keep you from accomplishing tasks. Fortunately, there is a better way to overcome your fears through the ancient art of meditation. Anyone can achieve this through guided practice and time. I’ll explain to you how meditation can help you overcome your fears in this article so you can conquer it.
One of the main aspects of fear is brought on by intimidation of the event or thought that does not subside until after the fact. Through mediation, the mind becomes quieted from the over-activity that feeds into fear. It allows a person to detach one’s self from the negative emotion that is being triggered. In order to learn how meditation can help you overcome your fears you must first master the skill required to become centered.
Meditation has been scientifically proven to effectively treat stress and anxiety, two factors that are commonly associated with fear. By learning the art of meditation you will be able to take control of your mental state and reach the calming response that will allow you to conquer your fears. Meditating trains your brain to respond differently to the negative thoughts and emotions that automatically occur when fear is brought on.
This ancient practice requires one to clear the mind of all thoughts. This may take time to achieve, but even practicing for short moments at a time will help you to practice regular meditation. The main principal to meditating is to focus on one thing, usually a calming and relaxing technique. The easiest way to achieve this is by concentrating on taking breaths.
To begin, find a comfortable space that is quiet to sit or lay down. Close your eyes and try to erase all negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Take in a deep breath and slowly exhale. Focus on your breaths as you slowly inhale then slowly exhale. Release the negative energy that is contributing to your fears as you exhale. Continue taking slow, deep breaths, concentrating on making the next breath even slower than the one before.
As you remain calm and concentrate on breathing, you are taking control to quiet the mind. Occasionally, a disruptive thought may occur. Rather than focus on that thought and letting it overcome your mental focus, let it go. Strive to maintain a passive attitude to dismiss any thoughts that may distract you from your goal of meditation.
Learning how meditation can help you overcome your fears will allow you to desensitize yourself from the internal or external stimuli that brings on the feelings of fear. You become aware of the impending thought or concern and are able to control your mental focus in order to detach yourself from it.
Fear is one of the usual human emotions, triggered by a real or perceived threat. It is a biological response mechanism that prepares the body for fight or flight in the presence of danger. In its concrete form, fear is more than a mere mental state and instead, a powerful emotion that affects the body’s physiology as well as the body’s chemical balance. While fear has some positive effects, it can have serious negative impacts in one’s life. Here is the insight:
Fear elicits stress
Stress is one of the consequences of fear. There is a lot that will change in your life the moment you accumulate stress to extreme levels. For instance, the immune system will be weakened and as a result, one is likely to suffer psychosomatic illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes and cardiovascular infections. Extreme stress will also impair judgment and accurate perception of reality.
Besides stress, fear itself is capable of weakening the immune system, a result of which is a series of infections such as ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome and decreased fertility.
Strained relationships
Fear causes a lot of paranoia and is likely to strain all personal relationships. In a state of fear, it is barely possible to trust the people around us despite their good intentions. Relations at the workplace will also be affected negatively. This will lead to reduced productivity at the workplace and a very small social circle. A person living in fear is less likely to start and sustain meaningful relationships.
Low achievement levels
Almost all opportunities in life involve riks. Choosing to join college will see you passing or failing in exams. Investing in a certain business will either earn you profits or losses. In a state of fear, a person is never willing to take these risks and without risking, it is barely possible to achieve full actualization potentials.
Stifled thinking
Fear has always been associated with a state of indecisiveness and distorted thinking patterns. A mind marred by fear will not think clearly and form accurate perceptions of reality but will rather base all thoughts and actions around the perceived or real threat and events that are likely to come along. Fear is a leeway to erosion of confidence, without which you cannot even believe in your ability to think in abstract terms.
Destructive habits
Fear is one of the reasons why people do not lead a healthy lifestyle. To numb the pain that is associated with fear, individuals will resolve to destructive habits such as careless driving, drinking excessively and abusing various drugs. These are all destructive habits that will derail one’s health and put a person at risk.
Conclusively, some amount of fear is constructive in the manner that it protects people from real and perceived dangers but when it becomes a default mode, fear has more consequences than positive influences.
If you feel that you need to take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities or you just need to challenge limiting beliefs that were formed years ago, you need to work on your self confidence. Actually, self confidence refers to assuredness in your own power and ability to overcome any kind of situation. So, if you don’t have a strong sense of belief in yourself, the following are 5 ways to be more confident.
1. Get rid of negative thoughts
It’s important for you to know how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This is mainly why negative thoughts, as well as any kind of insecurities, usually pop-up in your mind. In fact, you need to learn to be aware of your self-talk, when it’s negative, and be able to get rid of it. Instead you can think all all the amazing things that happen to you right now and focus on them. Even though it’s not easy to do so, with a little training you can control your mind over insecurities and negative ideas.
2. Focus on solutions
If you focus more on problems and complain about them than trying to find any possible solutions, you need to change your focus as soon as possible. For example, instead of trying to figure out why you are facing a difficult situation, you can try to find the best solutions you can, in order to resolve the problem. In fact, by trying to find new ideas that will help you with your problem is one of the best things you can actually do for your confidence.
3. Get prepared
When you think that you are not going to perform well at something, it’s hard to be confident in yourself. You can actually beat this feeling, by preparing as much as possible for any hard situation. For example, if you need to make a presentation for your work in front of an audience, you need to be prepared well; learn everything about your subject and study as much as you can. This way, you’ll be able to perform better and you’ll eventually feel more confident.
4. Set small goals
Many people usually make the mistake of making really big plans and as a result they get easily discouraged. Even if it’s great to ‘dream big’, it’s better to start by setting a small goal that you know you can achieve. This is going to give you more joy and you will feel more powerful in achieving your small goals. As a result, soon you’ll be setting bigger ones.
5. Know yourself better
If you are trying to overcome a negative self image and you really want to replace it with confidence, you only enemy is yourself. So, it’s crucial to get to know yourself well. For instance, you can start by listening to your thoughts and try to analyze them. Then, you need to thing about all the good things about yourself, such as the thinks you can do great and you like and think about if your limitations are real.
The emotional reaction to a perceived threat is fear. This is a normal and healthy response in life which keeps us from getting into harmful situations; it also helps us decide when to get out of situations that are not essentially the best. Ordinarily, fear can be handled through reason and logic. This prevents it from taking over our lives or causing us to become irrational. Fear can metamorphosize into phobia, such that the normal fear response becomes something that is hard or impossible to manage. As a result, it can stunt your overall development as a person. In addition to hindering you from achieving your true potential, fear can be an obstruction to many great things in life.
We discovered some mental tricks to combat your fears and we’ll share 5 of them below.
1. Think About Death
Every day, every minute someone dies – both the young and old. Thinking about death will remind you that no one lives forever. It will give you the boldness to really fight for what is important to you, therefore it is a great idea to embrace life, living to the fullest. Today you are presented with an opportunity to do what you should do. Do not let your fears condition you to rely on tomorrow for tomorrow may not come to you.
2. Think About the Enormity of the Universe
Thinking about the vastness of the world and all that is in it will help you see that everything is in order in the complex creation. Neither the stars nor planets collide with each other. Now see how small your challenges compare to the immensity of the world. That’s how insignificant you’ll begin to see your fear.
3. Think About Your Life As Your Dream
View you life as your dream – it belongs to you. no one else can live it better than you do. In this dream, you can influence the experiences you face and your reaction to them. When you’re asleep and you dream, you’re never worried about what others think about you – do the same with your life. As long as your acts aren’t devious or evil, don’t worry about the consequences. Your life, your dream, you only live once!
4. Think About Doing Your Best and Do it
Get rid of any negative thoughts about failure, embarrassment and the likes and jut put your best foot forward. Many of those who, at one time, had the fear of speaking in public embraced this trick and it worked for them. Turn your focus away from yourself toward what you’re doing and deliver it as best as you can. If you couldn’t do it, you wouldn’t have had this chance – think about it.
5. Think About Your Fears As Relative
Putting things into perspective will help you see your challenges or fears as relative – nothing is too awful or too significant. Remember how anxious you were when you took that important exam? Or when you walked down the aisle to spend the rest of your life with your spouse? Think of fear as relative.
We hope that you’ll use at least one, if not all 5 mental tricks to combat your fears. Let us know how they worked for you.